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A field guide to Valentine's Day office etiquette

A field guide to Valentine's Day office etiquette

Workplace etiquette is tricky enough, but on Valentine’s Day it becomes a veritable riddle! Check out these tips to keep your Valentine’s Day office-appropriate.

-Women especially enjoy receiving gifts on Valentine's Day, so give chocolates to your female coworkers. If you’re unsure of a coworker’s gender, give them an apple.

-Valentine’s Day can cast an oppressive pall over your single coworkers. Break the tension by tying a balloon to a single employee’s desk that says something goofy like, “Unloved Crone.”

-If overhearing your coworkers’ romantic evening plans is getting you down, use your lunch hour to refresh and recharge. Visit an animal shelter, pick out the sorriest mutt you can find, and then put it down. There’s no buzz on earth like the rush of taking a life.

-When it comes to giving flowers, remember that the color of your Valentine’s Day arrangements corresponds to different types of affection: white means platonic friendship, red signifies love, and pink is for crippling lust.

-A successful office Valentine’s Day comes down to enthusiasm and participation, so before heading into work, find somet time to experiment with the mood stabilizer cocktail that’s right for your height and weight.

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